Machoism

Recently I conducted a Team Building off-site workshop. Over 100 participants at an average age of 26 years attended this meet. One of the activities we normally carry out in such workshops is to make several sub-teams and then ask them to create an identity for each such team by devising a team name, create a slogan that binds the team together etc. This part of the activity is meant to establish initial bonding with the team members. The next activity that follows is aimed at tapping and triggering creative energy within teams. In this activity, the teams are asked to prepare a short skit that portrays the team values, beliefs and justifies the name and the slogan chosen by the team.

This time round, we had made four sub-teams. Interestingly, two out of the four teams came up with skits that had moderate to high amount of aggression, binging on covert to overt elements of violence.

Take a look at this.

One team presented a skit on the lines of one historical event in the life of a Maratha King (Shivaji), who took the life of a Delhi appointed Mughal emissary Afzalkhan, who had come to meet Shivaji with an intention of killing him by deceit. The team used the plot of this story to portray their slogan that talked about victory.

The second team portrayed a battle scene between two neighboring countries (India and Pakistan). Here they depicted how the more aggressive and agile soldiers were able to pump bullets in enemy camp and not give them any room for a possible retaliation. Here, the theme was beating the competition and emerge victorious.

The remaining two teams also had themes around winning but they chose very different storylines. One formed a human pyramid – a kind of sport popular in western India called Dahi Handi, to signify moving higher and higher level of success. And the other one exhibited company products and their role in making customers win at the marketplace. They accomplished this act by creating human forms and actions to signify uniqueness and specialty of the company products.

So, what is the point I am trying to make here?

In excess of 50 % of young folk participating in this event had to resort to extreme forms of depiction of violence to signify victory. It is also pertinent to note that they thought their victory had to be somebody else’s defeat.

And then I am reminded of what we read day in day out about how children are brought up these days, especially the male children. Remember, this particular team was also 95 % men!

Go to any toy shop and what are on offer are guns, bombs and all war and arson inducing toys!

I am not sure whether the youthfulness of this group made them go for more violence centric imagery or by now it has become our societal DNA, where machoism is considered as a necessary pre-condition for achieving worldly successes. And if it indeed is, then we are talking about a much deeper problem and I think it’s high time we corrected it as a society.

Journey Matters

I am a great believer of setting goals and providing a well-defined execution plan in support of the same. In fact, often times, I do help my clients in setting their business goals and also propagate the importance of doing so across their employee communities. I believe that well-formed goals give us a sense of purpose and direction and also release productive energy in initiating actions aimed at achieving those goals. 

However, there are equal numbers of times I have wondered whether the tightly defined goals by themselves energize our actions or is there something else (actually additional) that goes with it. Although I have tried to find an answer myself, I can’t claim that I have fully got one—but today I am certainly closer to it after going through multiple reflections.

I want to narrate a live experience that I went through a few years ago.

In one of the pre - monsoon months, many years ago, we went somewhere on the outskirts of Mumbai-- removed from all the hustle bustle of the metro. It was a Yoga camp for a five day period. As is the case with any other camp, there were several individual and group activities aimed at accelerating self-awareness and interpersonal awareness. Thankfully, there were no sermons at all and every experience created there was left at an experience level itself. This meant that the participants were left to draw their own learning lessons out of what they were going through.

One Morning, our teacher asked us to wear walking shoes and pack some basic gear to protect against the Sun. It was around 7.30 a.m., when we left the camp site, with our teacher leading the group. The group consisted of all sorts of folks-- from young bachelors to fairly aged couples. We were allowed to walk at a very comfortable pace and in no particular order. We did that for about 10 minutes, at which point, our teacher asked us to stop walking and gather together to form a circle. 

We did not know what the exercise was, where we were headed etc.--and probably that was the idea! 

We formed the circle as instructed and the teacher stood right at the center of it. She asked us to take a look around and generally make note of what was in sight-close, mid and far. The place where we were standing was a part of a fairly vast plane, except, in one direction there was a hill which was fairly high. 

After we did what was told to us, the next instruction followed. 

Now we were asked to make a straight line by standing in pairs. Those who had joined the camp as couples were paired together and the singles were paired with other singles.

Now that the line was neatly formed, the teacher told us that momentarily we shall start walking. 

Hearing that, we were about to start walking, when the teacher got several blindfolds out of her bag and started putting them on some people. We soon realized that there was a method that was being followed in choosing such people. The apparent weaker link in each couple was being blindfolded! So each couple now had one blind folded person. We were then told to hold the hands of our partners and simply start walking behind the teacher, who was heading towards the hill. She strictly instructed us that no talking between the partners was permitted. 

The real journey then commenced. Weather was still pretty pleasant and we were not hindered by the strong sun. Those who could see were not yet figuring out where this journey was actually going to land, as we kept inching towards the hill.

We continued at a comfortable rhythm and kept walking for almost 90 minutes. 

At the end of 90 minutes, we had reached the top of the hill! 

Those who were blindfolded still did not have a clue as to where they had reached.

At that stage, the teacher asked them to take the folds away and slowly open their eyes. And when they actually did, the decibel levels on the hilltop dramatically shot-up! And what did it convey? It was mixed bag of jubilation, pure happiness and a tremendous sense of astonishment (almost bordering on disbelief!), that they could climb such a height without any stress and that too blindfolded.

No exaggeration, I had a 70 year heavily arthritic patient standing next to me, who had just taken his blinds off and this is what he had to say, “Wow!!! What a breathtaking panoramic view! I would not have agreed to climb up this hill, which was almost looking insurmountable from the ground. Even if the offer came with heavy incentives! I still don’t believe I made it and now I am wondering will I be able to make my way back to the camp.” And that is where the teacher interjected. She said to him, “What you thought impossible is already behind you.What remains is a cake-walk!” And that was enough for him. He made it back to the camp site without tears! 

I have been fortunate to witness many such incredibly enjoyable (and successful too!) journeys taken by people. And this is where my multiple reflections tell me that goals are important and they provide a definite sense of direction. But sometimes they can actually clip the wings of your unfettered and untapped potential. Sometimes they can even deter you from taking uncharted paths. And certainly they don’t give you an opportunity to bask in happiness of reaching a pleasant surprise at the end of the journey!

Therefore my take: As in case of everything else in life, there is no silver bullet to happiness. One has to choose what works for himself/herself. To me, what becomes material is the quality of the journey. 

What you really enjoy is the journey and where you reach is the goal.

But that’s my experience.

See what works for you.