I am a great believer of setting goals and providing a
well-defined execution plan in support of the same. In fact, often times, I do
help my clients in setting their business goals and also propagate the
importance of doing so across their employee communities. I believe that well-formed
goals give us a sense of purpose and direction and also release productive
energy in initiating actions aimed at achieving those goals.
However, there are equal numbers of times I have wondered whether the tightly defined goals by themselves energize our actions or is there something else (actually additional) that goes with it. Although I have tried to find an answer myself, I can’t claim that I have fully got one—but today I am certainly closer to it after going through multiple reflections.
However, there are equal numbers of times I have wondered whether the tightly defined goals by themselves energize our actions or is there something else (actually additional) that goes with it. Although I have tried to find an answer myself, I can’t claim that I have fully got one—but today I am certainly closer to it after going through multiple reflections.
I want to narrate a live experience that I went through a
few years ago.
In one of the pre - monsoon months, many years ago, we went
somewhere on the outskirts of Mumbai-- removed from all the hustle bustle of
the metro. It was a Yoga camp for a five day period. As is the case with any
other camp, there were several individual and group activities aimed at
accelerating self-awareness and interpersonal awareness. Thankfully, there were
no sermons at all and every experience created there was left at an experience
level itself. This meant that the participants were left to draw their own
learning lessons out of what they were going through.
One Morning, our teacher asked us to wear walking shoes and
pack some basic gear to protect against the Sun. It was around 7.30 a.m., when
we left the camp site, with our teacher leading the group. The group consisted
of all sorts of folks-- from young bachelors to fairly aged couples. We were
allowed to walk at a very comfortable pace and in no particular order. We did
that for about 10 minutes, at which point, our teacher asked us to stop walking
and gather together to form a circle.
We did not know what the exercise was, where we were headed etc.--and
probably that was the idea!
We formed the circle as instructed and the teacher stood
right at the center of it. She asked us to take a look around and generally
make note of what was in sight-close, mid and far. The place where we were
standing was a part of a fairly vast plane, except, in one direction there was
a hill which was fairly high.
After we did what was told to us, the next instruction
followed.
Now we were asked to make a straight line by standing in pairs.
Those who had joined the camp as couples were paired together and the singles
were paired with other singles.
Now that the line was neatly formed, the teacher told us that momentarily we shall start walking.
Hearing that, we were about to start walking, when the
teacher got several blindfolds out of her bag and started putting them on some
people. We soon realized that there was a method that was being followed in choosing
such people. The apparent weaker link in each couple was being blindfolded! So
each couple now had one blind folded person. We were then told to hold the hands
of our partners and simply start walking behind the teacher, who was heading
towards the hill. She strictly instructed us that no talking between the
partners was permitted.
The real journey then commenced. Weather was still pretty
pleasant and we were not hindered by the strong sun. Those who could see were
not yet figuring out where this journey was actually going to land, as we kept inching
towards the hill.
We continued at a comfortable rhythm and kept walking for
almost 90 minutes.
At the end of 90 minutes, we had reached the top of the
hill!
Those who were blindfolded still did not have a clue as to where
they had reached.
At that stage, the teacher asked them to take the folds away and slowly open their eyes. And when they actually did, the decibel levels on the hilltop dramatically shot-up! And what did it convey? It was mixed bag of jubilation, pure happiness and a tremendous sense of astonishment (almost bordering on disbelief!), that they could climb such a height without any stress and that too blindfolded.
No exaggeration, I
had a 70 year heavily arthritic patient standing next to me, who had just taken
his blinds off and this is what he had to say, “Wow!!! What a breathtaking
panoramic view! I would not have agreed to climb up this hill, which was almost
looking insurmountable from the ground. Even if the offer came with heavy
incentives! I still don’t believe I made it and now I am wondering will I be
able to make my way back to the camp.” And that is where the teacher interjected.
She said to him, “What you thought impossible is already behind you.What remains is a cake-walk!” And that
was enough for him. He made it back to the camp site without tears!
I have been fortunate to witness many such incredibly
enjoyable (and successful too!) journeys taken by people. And this is where my
multiple reflections tell me that goals are important and they
provide a definite sense of direction. But sometimes they can actually clip the wings of
your unfettered and untapped potential. Sometimes they can even deter you from
taking uncharted paths. And certainly they don’t give you an opportunity to bask in happiness of reaching a pleasant
surprise at the end of the journey!
Therefore my take: As in case of everything else in life,
there is no silver bullet to happiness. One has to choose what works
for himself/herself. To me, what becomes material is the quality of the journey.
What you really enjoy is the journey and where you reach is
the goal.
But that’s my experience.
5 comments:
Dear Abhay,
Excellent experiential exposition for a trusted, dependable, willing partner's role who has equal interest in taking you to the destination, come what may. Sometimes, we as relatives or friends become defensive in suggesting our dear ones to " avoid " doing or taking up something. But someone who encourages with a " maih hun naa " can make things happen. I too have personal experience about this.
What matters when someone doesn't lead you, open or blindfolded, is also one's intense desire or motivation to reach to a known or desired destination. I have seen an old relative of mine who cannot and was not medically permitted to climb, actually climb steep 500 odd steps to reach a temple on the top. Nothing happened to her after that, other than happiness to herself and awe to others.
Abhay, keep posting such wonderful thoughts and lead me to light.
Cheers,
Dilip Kulkarni
Dear Dilip..Thanks a ton for such a spirited and insightful response..Cheers
Hi, Abhay!
Interesting take on the possible limiting role of goals, useful especially for those who are compulsive goal-setters.
RG
Thanks RG
Just saw this v interesting and different post Abhay.
First time someone has questioned --are Goals necessary to achieve and seek happiness?
Or perhaps are they always necessary?
Here is my take on this --
I think basically when we visualise something as a target for achievement, we end up making some of them our goals. And then we "go for it".
I guess thats a rather universal truth.
Often what impacts the happiness levels is the enjoyment one has when that goal gets accomplished.
In the example you gave, when the people who were blindfolded opened their eyes and saw a beautiful scenery at the top of the hill, they shouted with joy. Thats because they moved from darkness to a beautiful scenery instantly. Those who were walking with their eyes open did not shout so loudly with joy, because the scenery slowly crept onto them.
Its like we all like various types of cuisines these days. But we do end up eating at least some Indian food of our cultural heritage ( Maharashtrian, Punjabi , etc) daily.
But what happens when you say visit Europe for a week and perhaps not get indian food? When one lands back, the same Indian food appears even more delicious. So the decibel level of happiness also depends on the extent of deprivation.
But Goal setting ( and not a compulsive obsession with it where flexibility gets lost) to my mind is something that should be taught at an early age since aspiration and goal setting are critical in todays times for finding happiness.
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